If ever you have a month to spare
And you’re not sure how to spend it
Come to Phang Nga Bay to the east of Pkuket
And you’ll find you won’t want to end it.

If you’re here in October you’ll get some rain
(This is real rain, measured in feet)
But at least it helps to keep you cool
And coolness here is a treat.

You’ll explore the hongs at Koh Phanak
Go to Koh Hong and Koh Deng Yai
You will try the resort at Koh Yao Noi
(You must practise these names each day).

You’ll get fresh squid and prawns from longboats
They go well with the local beer
If you add the Thai herbs and spices
You might out-do Maggie Beer.

You will ride out a blow at Koh Yao Yoi
And then when the weather comes good
You’ll enjoy the spectacular Phi Phi Don
You’d stay there for days if you could.

You’ll see Phi Phi Le in a longboat
Where the water is aquamarine
You might even indulge in a massage
(incognito, you’ll never be seen).

You’ll wear out the flippers and goggles
You’ll hand feed the fish at Kai Nok
You’ll tumble ashore in the tender
And taste the delights from the wok.

You’ll swim with a turtle at Koh Racha Yai
And lie with the fishing fleet
They’ll cook you a meal at the Raya Resort
You’d be battling, I think, to beat.

You’ll anchor well off at Ao Chalong
And discreetly motor ashore
The next bit’s been censored I’m sorry to say
Ask our guests, if you’re game, for more.

You’ll buy fish from the local trawling boat
With its thirty smiling crew
If you’ve bought the Thai herbs at the market
You can show your French guests what to do.

At Phi Phi you’ll eat with your feet in the sand
It’s the only way to dine
Then you’ll trip the light on the dance floor
(Pretty Woman and Sweet Caroline).

You’ll see the spectacular Krabi coast
With its orange cliffs standing sheer
And its oysters and monkeys and corn on the cob
(There are tourists even this time of year).

You’ll take some time out at marinas
At Yacht Haven and Boat Lagoon
When you plan your comings and goings there
Be sure to consult the moon.

You will find it, I’d say, a perfect place
For a second honeymoon
So why put it off any longer
Just do it, and do it soon.